I'm not a writer...

...I just need a quieter room.

This week, when I was considering making my 10,000,000th Facebook account (I enjoy a exaggeration occasionally) for another fresh start I came to the conclusion that maybe no matter how many times I create new profiles and filter down friends I just still wont be happy on the platform.

I have never been a scroller, I am a post and dash type and follow only 4 people. I use it as a space to keep photos and memories and almost feel a duty to update friends and family of what me and the children have been getting up to but I just don't enjoy it. I used to feel as though I would miss out on something if I wasn't on there but I don't have messenger installed, I have all notifications off and I actually end up missing more than what I see because people expect me to get all the notifications and event invites on there and therefore don't message me directly anymore. I cannot remember the last time someone text me, minus a handful of close friends and family.

I get the appeal to some people, quick posts, fast reactions, the blue thumbs giving immediate satisfactory and the feeling of being seen in a loud yet comforting way but realistically the people liking these posts whilst scrolling rarely even remember what they have read or liked by the next morning. Therefore this sense of connection is actually a huge disconnect.

The idea came to me that a blog maybe a good way to preserve my memories, speak my truths offload but without all the noise. So if you are reading this then thankyou. Not because I'm trying to build an audience but because this means you've chosen to sit in this quiet space too. I don't even know what I will write about, life probably. Some posts I will polish and some will be raw and messy and that's ok, because that's real and that is very ME.

This isnt about being a writer, its about stepping away from the noise and giving my thoughts room to breathe. So here's to a fresh page, less scrolling, more reflecting and connection. Here's to writing, even if I'm not a writer. And who knows, maybe somewhere along the way I will become one without even noticing.